


Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts

by sneakymustang



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 15:53:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9448991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sneakymustang/pseuds/sneakymustang
Summary: Everyone knows liquid courage will help you with any problem, especially telling the person you love you are in love with them. Or so Stiles thinks.





	

“Scott, drop it already,” Stiles sighed, steering the jeep out of the school parking lot.

 

It was the last day of senior year. They made it. All of them. Stiles could hardly believe it. With all the supernatural crap they've all been through, he was surprised they were all alive, let alone high school graduates. 

 

“I’m just saying, now would be the perfect time to admit your feelings to him.”

 

“And why is that?” Stiles said. 

 

“Because! School is over, at least until we leave for college. You can’t use your tired excuse of you needing to ‘focus’ on school,” Scott said. Like everything is so easy.

 

“Dude, Derek and I just barely became friends-”

 

“Bullshit. He’s been your best friend for about a year now. You hang out with him twice as much as you hang out with me.”

 

Stiles glanced at him quickly before turning his eyes back to the road. “Scott, you're my best friend.”

 

“Nah. I’m not. But that's okay, because we are brothers,” Scott grinned, punching Stiles lightly on the shoulder.

 

Stiles chuckled as he pulled in front of Scott’s house. 

 

“Seriously though. I think you should tell him.”

 

Stiles thumped his head back into the headrest. “I don’t want to ruin what we have by telling him something he doesn't want to hear.”

 

“Stiles, you wouldn't be ruining anything. He feels the same way about you.”

 

Stiles turned his head so sharply, he felt it crack. “Wait, what? Has he said something to you?”

 

“He doesn't have to say anything. I see the way he looks at you. He adores you, man,” Scott said.

<

“Scott, drop it already,” Stiles sighed, steering the jeep out of the school parking lot.

 

It was the last day of senior year. They made it. All of them. Stiles could hardly believe it. With all the supernatural crap they've all been through, he was surprised they were all alive, let alone high school graduates. 

 

“I’m just saying, now would be the perfect time to admit your feelings to him.”

 

“And why is that?” Stiles said. 

 

“Because! School is over, at least until we leave for college. You can’t use your tired excuse of you needing to ‘focus’ on school,” Scott said. Like everything is so easy.

 

“Dude, Derek and I just barely became friends-”

 

“Bullshit. He’s been your best friend for about a year now. You hang out with him twice as much as you hang out with me.”

 

Stiles glanced at him quickly before turning his eyes back to the road. “Scott, you're my best friend.”

 

“Nah. I’m not. But that's okay, because we are brothers,” Scott grinned, punching Stiles lightly on the shoulder.

 

Stiles chuckled as he pulled in front of Scott’s house. 

 

“Seriously though. I think you should tell him.”

 

Stiles thumped his head back into the headrest. “I don’t want to ruin what we have by telling him something he doesn't want to hear.”

 

“Stiles, you wouldn't be ruining anything. He feels the same way about you.”

 

Stiles turned his head so sharply, he felt it crack. “Wait, what? Has he said something to you?”

 

“He doesn't have to say anything. I see the way he looks at you. He adores you, man,” Scott said.

 

“Adore and love are two different things,” Stiles frowned.

 

“Are they?” Scott asked, before leaving the jeep. 

 

Stiles ran his hand through his hair before backing out and heading home.

 

___________________

 

Stiles found himself a few hours later pacing back and forth in his room. This was insane. He couldn't do what he was thinking of doing. Why did he let Scott get to him? He is perfectly fine just being friends with Derek. 

 

They were great together as friends. Stiles did a lot of his homework at Derek’s because he helped him focus. While Stiles knew when Derek needed to get out of the house and they would go to the preserve for a run. They worked well together, knowing when the other needed something, whether it be food, something fun to do, or even a good nap. There was one time when they both fell asleep on the couch together and it was one of the best naps Stiles has ever taken. 

 

Admitting that he was in love to Derek to himself was easy. Admitting that he was in love Derek to Derek was stupidity. Luckily, Stiles had a bit of liquid courage with him in the name of Jack Daniels. 

 

It didn't take long for him feel that courage (so he thinks; half a bottle later) and decides Scott was right. He should tell Derek how he feels. They should be together. They would be great together! It was settled. He was going to tell Derek.

 

The next thing he knew he was knocking on Derek’s door.

 

“Stiles?”

 

“Derek! There you are! I've been lookin’ ev-ever where...every! Everywhere for you!” Stiles erupted with laughter. 

 

“Stiles, are you drunk?” Derek frowned.

 

“No!” Stiles waved his hand at Derek, but lost his balance and almost fell off the porch. Derek immediately grabbed his waist to stop him from falling over and pulled him into the house. The whole exchange made Stiles laugh again. “Nice save. You are really good with your hands.”

 

This made Derek’s ears turn a shade of pink. Stiles reached out and began rubbing his thumb and finger over his earlobe. “I love your ears.”

 

“My ears?” Derek smirked.

 

“Yes. They are so...what's that word...pretty! Your ears are so pretty!”

 

“Stiles, how much have you drank tonight?”

 

“I always drink a glass of milk at dinner.”

 

“That's not what I meant,” Derek said, pushing Stiles hand lightly away from his ear.

 

Stiles began laughing again and took a step away from Derek. Stiles knew Derek didn't like people in his space all the time. But he usually liked it when Stiles was in his space. Was he making Derek uncomfortable?

 

“You're not making me uncomfortable. I don’t mind when you are my space,” Derek said quietly.

 

“Shit, did I say that out loud?” Stiles chuckled.

 

“Yes. You did,” Derek rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you sit down and I’ll get you some water.”

 

Stiles shot his hand out and held onto Derek’s arm. “Wait. I came here to tell you something.”

 

Derek huffed but he had a small smile on his face so Stiles took it as a win. And what a nice smile Derek had. It was one of Stiles favorite things about Derek. He’s little bunny teeth stuck out when he was truly happy. 

 

“I don't have bunny teeth.” Derek was blushing again.

 

“Yes, you do. I love your bunny teeth,” Stiles said.

 

“Is that what you came here to tell me?” 

 

“No! Well I do love your bunny teeth. But that's not the only thing I love,” Stiles hesitated when Derek raised an eyebrow at him. “Shit. Okay, I came here to tell you...actually I came here to...no, right I came to tell-”

 

He stopped when Derek set his hand on Stiles’ face. “Stiles, are you alright?”

 

“I’m in love with you,” Stiles blurted.

 

Derek took his hand back like it was burned. Stiles let out a nervous laugh.

 

It was out there now. He did it. He actually told Derek he loved him! 

 

“How did you get here?” Derek asked.

 

“Huh?” That was not what he expected Derek to say after he told him he loved him. 

 

“Stiles, please tell me you did not drive here like this!”

 

Was Derek mad? Why was he raising his voice? “No! I mean...I don’t think I did.”

 

“Jesus, Stiles! You could've died! I can’t believe you would drive here drunk like this!”

 

“You're mad at me?” Stiles said, trying to make sense of everything.

 

“Hell yeah I’m mad at you! You can be so irresponsible sometimes,” Derek shouted, turning on his heel and walking into the living room.

 

Stiles was left dumbfounded by the door. What just happened?

 

Derek came back with his jacket in his hand and his car keys. “Let’s go. I’m taking you home.”

 

“Wait,” Stiles grabbed his arm. “Did you not hear me? I love you, Derek.”

 

Derek snatched his arm out of Stiles reach and opened the front door. He held it open for Stiles and gave him a pointed look. Stiles felt like the he was just hit by a hurricane. He had no idea what was going on. It took Derek growling at him for Stiles to move his feet out the door. They both got in the Camero silently. 

 

Stiles was still trying to process what was going on when he began to feel queasy. The world was moving too fast for him. Or maybe that was his thoughts. He shut his eyes in hopes that everything would stop spinning soon. 

 

It could have been five seconds his eyes were closed or five hours, but the next thing he knew Derek was shaking him roughly. 

 

“We’re here,” Derek said gruffly. 

 

“What?” Stiles had no idea what was going on.

 

Derek exhaled roughly before getting out of the Camero. Stiles watched dizzily as Derek walked around the car and opened Stiles’ door. Derek leaned over him and undid his seatbelt. Then he pulled Stiles to his feet. Quickly. Too quickly.

 

“Shit,” was Derek’s only warning before Stiles was throwing up the contents of his stomach. 

 

He didn't know how long he stood there vomiting on his drive way but it was long enough to make him feel like utter shit. Vaguely, he felt something rubbing up and down his back, like a hand. 

 

When he was done, he let himself collapse onto the cold cement. The cold ground felt good on his overheated face. 

 

“Stiles, we need to get you inside,” Derek said quietly. 

 

He didn't think he could move even if he wanted to. “Just leave me here. I’m fine.”

 

“Stiles,” Derek sighed. 

 

Suddenly, he felt strong arms lift him into the air. It jostled his head, which was beginning to pound, and he groaned. 

 

“This is what you get for drinking your weight in alcohol,” Derek said.

 

“Damn you Jack,” Stiles grumbled.

 

Derek huffed out a breath. 

 

Then Stiles felt himself being lowered onto something soft. He rubbed his face across his pillow and let out a sigh. When Stiles heard footprints beginning to walk away, Stiles reached out blindly until it caught on a sleeve.

 

“Don’t go,” Stiles whispered.

 

“I’ll be right back,” Derek said, running his hand lightly through Stiles’ hair. Stiles smiled up at him and then proceeded to pass out.

 

___________________

 

 

When Stiles came to the next day, he let out a groan. What the hell happened last night? Why did he feel like death? He peaked open an eye and found the culprit sitting on his desk. Mocking him. 

 

“Fuck you, Jack,” Stiles mumbled. 

 

He sat up slowly and immediately regretted his decision. Someone or something was hammering through his skull. When he glanced up again, he saw that someone had left a glass of water and some aspirin on his night stand. He chugged the water down in one go and dry swallowed some aspirin. 

 

What happened last night?

 

He slowly sat up and he ran a hand over his face. Fuck, he was never drinking again.

 

Drinking...Courage...Derek. Derek! Everything came back to him in a rush. He told Derek he loved him last night. Then what happened? Driving. Derek was made at him. For telling him Stiles loved him? No, Derek actually didn't say anything about Stiles being in love with him. Why was he mad? He was mad about something. Shit. His head hurt. 

 

Stiles knew one thing though. He needed to talk to Derek.

 

He grabbed his phone from his pants pocket (when did he take his pants off?) and dialed Derek’s number. It went straight to voicemail. Where was he? 

 

Stiles groaned and decided he would try again after a shower.

 

______________________

 

Something was wrong. Something was really wrong. He hadn't heard from Derek in three days. Three days of radio silence! He’s called and texted, he even shot him an email, but Derek did not respond. Maybe it was because of Stiles’s confession. He knew he shouldn't have said anything! He was so fucking stupid.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Scott, have you heard from Derek?” Stiles said, pacing back and forth in his room.

 

“What do you mean? I saw him this morning. We went for a run in the preserve.”

 

“Did he seem, weird to you?”

 

“No. Well we did run a little longer than usual. He seemed like he needed the extra few miles.”

 

“Did he say anything to you?”

 

“No. He’s not very talkative when we go running.”

 

“Scott!” Stiles groaned, running his hand agitatedly through his hair.

 

“What?!”

 

“I told Derek I was in love with him three days ago.”

 

“That’s great! I told you-”

 

“No, you are not hearing me. I told Derek I was in love with him three days ago.”

 

“Oh. What did he say?”

 

“He yelled at me,” Stiles said tentatively.

 

“He what? For being in love with him?”

 

“No, because he thought I drove to his house.”

 

“I’m confused.”

 

“I may have been a little drunk,” Stiles said.

 

Scott exhaled loudly. “Seriously Stiles?”

 

“I know. I know. I’m an idiot. But I don’t know what to do. He won't answer my calls or texts,” Stiles said anxiously. 

 

“Well he’s home now. Why don’t you go talk to him?”

 

“Yeah. You're right. I’ll go talk to him,” Stiles jumped to his feet. “I’ll talk to you later.”

 

Stiles felt jittery as he jumped into the jeep and drove over to Derek’s. He didn't know what was going through Derek’s head, but he was going to find out. 

 

When he pulled up to the rebuilt Hale house, he felt his anxiety only heighten. Why hasn’t Derek been answering his calls? Was it just because he was mad about him thinking Stiles drove over to his house drunk? Or could it be because he didn't reciprocate his feelings?

 

“Derek,” Stiles knocked on the door.

 

When no one answered, Stiles went to turn the doorknob and his hand slipped off. What the hell? Derek never locked his door. He always left it open so anyone from the pack could come whenever they wanted. 

 

“Derek, answer the door!” Stiles shouted.

 

He began hammering his fist on the door. Derek will answer the door eventually. He would annoy the shit out of him until he did. But after a solid five minutes of knocking, no one came to the door. Stiles poked his head around and saw that the Camaro was there. So he was for sure home.

 

“Derek! I need to talk to you!” Stiles yelled up towards the windows. “If you are mad about me driving that night, I didn't! I took the bus to get here! I swear!”

 

Nothing.

 

“If it was because I was drinking, I’m sorry. I know I’m underage, but yeah.”

 

Still nothing.

 

“Is it because I told you I loved you?” Stiles asked softly.

 

When there was still no response, Stiles felt himself begin to panic. “Derek, I’m sorry! Please, talk to me!”

 

He began hitting at the door again. Then he started kicking. He needed to get inside. He needed to talk to Derek. He just needed to understand. Stiles took a step back before trying to ram his shoulder through the door. He would knock the door down if it meant he could see Derek. He rammed his shoulder three more times before letting out a frustrated yell. His shoulder was definitely going to bruise by the shooting pain he felt. He slid slowly down the door until he was sitting on his bottom. His head thunked roughly against the door and that was when he felt a wetness on his face. When had he started crying?

 

“Derek, please,” Stiles cried. 

 

Hours go by, and still Derek doesn't open the door. Stiles sits against the door until it's way past dark before finally giving up. This was it. He had lost Derek.

 

____________________

 

“Stiles, you have to get up,” Lydia said..

 

“No I don’t,” Stiles replied, throwing the blanket back over his head.

 

“It's not the end of the world.”

 

“Yes it is.”

 

“You're being dramatic.”

 

Stiles threw the blanket over his head and stared Lydia in the eyes. “Do you remember when Jackson left to England?”

 

Lydia nodded.

 

“Did he tell you goodbye?”

 

“Yes,” Lydia said.

 

“And did you tell him you loved him?”

 

“Yes, but Stiles, that’s different. Jackson moved away. Derek is still here.”

 

“That's right, Lydia. He is still here. I will have to see him at the grocery store, the gas station, hell, I will have to see him at pack meetings, and I have to live with how he can’t even bare the thought of talking to me, because I...because I love him.”

 

“Stiles.” Lydia let a tear fall down her cheek before she climbed onto the bed next to him. Stiles wrapped the blanket around them and closed his eyes.

 

_________________

 

“I talked to Derek.”

 

“Please don’t Scott.”

 

“I just needed to know why.”

 

Stiles rolled over and looked up at Scott with glazed eyes. “And?”

 

Scott looked like a kicked puppy with his tail between his legs. “He kicked me out of his house.”

 

Stiles let out a humorless laugh. “Just leave him alone. And leave me alone. Leave us both alone.”

 

“But Stiles-”

 

“Drop it, Scott.”

 

And for once, Scott let it go.

 

________________

 

Summer flies by, and soon Stiles finds himself packing up his room. He wasn't going far for college, just Beacon Hills University, but it still felt like he could start over. Maybe he will find someone there and he could finally get over Derek. Or maybe Derek would come to his senses and tell Stiles he was in love with him too. Stiles shook his head from those thoughts. He wasn't allowed to think about Derek like that again. He made it perfectly clear how he felt.

 

Stiles was digging through his desk drawer when he realized his hard drive was missing. He looked underneath his bed, his closet, and his already packed stuff and still couldn't find it. 

 

Then he remembered. The last time he used it was at Derek’s. 

 

He was going to have to go to Derek’s to get his hard drive back. Stiles ran his hand anxiously through his hair and blew out a breath. It wasn't like he could just buy a new one. He had the bestiary on there. And pdfs of books that he will never be able to find again. And pictures of his mom. He had to get it back.

 

Reluctant;y, Stiles climbed into this jeep and drove over to Derek's. 

 

When he got there, the front door was surprisingly open, so he stepped inside. What he saw took his breath away. There were boxes everywhere and duffel bags filled to the brink sitting at the edge of the stairs. No. This couldn't be happening.

 

“What are you doing here, Stiles?”

 

Stiles jumped at the sound of his name and he looked up to see Derek walking into the living room with his arms crossed over his chest.

 

“Are you leaving?” Stiles breathed out.

 

“That doesn't answer my question.”

 

“Does the pack know?”

 

“Stiles-”

 

“Did you tell the pack you were leaving?” Stiles plowed right over him.

 

“What does it matter to you?” Derek grunted.

 

“You were going to leave again without telling anybody?” Stiles said dangerously low.

 

“I was going to call after I got settled in,” Derek said.

 

Stiles chuckled darkly. “You were going to up and leave and not tell anyone until after you settled in? Are you serious? When was that going to be? A week? A month? A year from now?”

 

“Stiles, you should go.”

 

“I can’t believe you. What did they do to you to deserve you disappearing on them? They are your pack Derek!”

 

“There is nothing left for me here,” Derek said.

 

“So they don’t mean anything to you? Why bother saying goodbye when you don’t give a shit about them, am I right?”

 

Derek glared hard and long at Stiles. “Are we talking about the pack or you?”

 

“Fuck you, Derek!”

 

“No, Stiles! You are the one that came here acting like you were in love with me.”

 

“Acting like?” Stiles flailed his arms up.

 

“You couldn't even do it sober. You had to get drunk enough to not know what you were saying before you could tell me you so called loved me.”

 

“What?” Stiles was breathing heavily now. He had no idea what Derek was talking about. “I wasn’t messing with you. I came here to tell you I loved you and yelled in my face!”

 

“Because you were lying!” Derek shouted. “You know how I feel about you and you threw it all in my face.”

 

“When was I lying? My heart! Didn't you even listen to my heart that night?”

 

“Heart beats are irregular when someone is drunk because of the alcohol in their system. But you knew that. That's why you were drunk off your ass when you came here to mess with my feelings.”

 

“Fuck, Derek. I didn't know that! If I had known I never would have gotten drunk,” Stiles said, sincerely. 

 

“Whatever. I don’t care. You can leave now,” Derek said. 

 

“No, wait. Listen to my heart now. I lov-”

 

“I don’t want to hear what you have to say!” Derek roared.

 

Stiles flinched and took a step back. He took a deep breath before saying. “God, I hate you. You're right, I don't love you.”

 

Derek reeled back like he had been slapped.

 

“I’m so glad you are leaving. Have a nice life, Derek.” 

 

But before he could turn and walk away, Derek caught his arm. “Stiles.”

 

“What? What else can you possible have to say to me?” Stiles said.

 

Derek didn't say anything as he leaned in and captured Stiles’ lips with his own. Stiles was so shocked, he stood there limply for a moment. Then he realized this may be the only time he gets to kiss Derek, so he dived in and gave him everything he had. Derek opened up eagerly to him and cupped Stiles’s cheeks with his hands. Stiles slipped his fingers through Derek’s hair and let out a mouthy moan. He knew Derek's hair would be this soft. Derek began sucking on his lower lip when Stiles suddenly pulled away. 

 

“Why are you doing this?” Stiles asked shakily. 

 

He could fill his eyes filling with tears, but refused to let them fall. Not yet at least. 

 

“You were lying,” Derek said. 

 

“Yeah, you told me. Now can you let go of my face?”

 

“No, just now. Your heart skipped a beat when you said you didn't love me,” Derek said, holding tighter to Stiles’ face. 

 

“Derek, please. My pride can’t take much more of this,” Stiles said, shutting his eyes tightly.

 

“Stiles, look at me.”

 

He shook his head frantically.

 

“Stiles, please, look at me,” Derek said softly, smoothing his thumb over Stiles’ cheek.

 

Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked into Derek’s beautiful eyes. “You love me.”

 

“Derek-”

 

“Say it.”

 

“Derek…”

 

“Please.”

 

“I love you,” Stiles said, a tear escaping down his cheek.

 

Derek leaned in and kissed him so passionately he felt himself begin to melt. His hands were suddenly everywhere too; his face, his neck, his sides, his hands. Stiles felt like he was floating. This was happening. This was happening!

 

Then Derek was pulling away and Stiles felt his loss with his whole body. But he didn't go far.

 

“I thought you were playing a joke on me that night. I didn't realize you were actually telling me you loved me.”

 

“Drunk words, sober thoughts,” Stiles shrugged.

 

Derek rolled his eyes, before pulling Stiles back into his arms. “You know I love you too, right?”

 

“Now I do,” Stiles grinned.

 

“Comes on. You had to have known,” Derek chuckled. “I was pretty obvious.”

 

“As obvious as me coming here and telling you I loved you?”

 

“You were drunk.”

 

“Drunk on your love,” Stiles grinned.

 

“We are both such idiots,” Derek chuckled.

 

“Idiots in love.”

 

Derek shook his head at him but kissed him anyways.


End file.
